Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
