Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
