you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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