I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
