She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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