its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
