are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
