Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You ruined the universe
Randomize
