What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
