Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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