apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize