What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
