CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
