you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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