If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
