She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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