I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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