After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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