Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
