Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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