i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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