i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
