were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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