toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
