I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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