Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
