I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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