I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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