my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
