maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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