my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
