I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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