im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
