..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize