What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The Olympian is in my bed
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
