It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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