she woke up with a sticky ear
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
