Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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