So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
