When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
