Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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