So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
