my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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