she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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