I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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