i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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