the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize