my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
