why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
