It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
