Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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