Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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