he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize