we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
