is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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