i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
