Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
