I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I am full of burrito and curiosity
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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