i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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