If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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